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Why 'fake-it-till-you-make-it' might **actually** work!

Why 'fake-it-till-you-make-it' might **actually** work!

Posted by Delphie Joy on 9th Dec 2022

Today, I want to share something personal with you, in the hope it might help you also.

But first, which of these are you familiar with?

  • Dress up
  • Make believe
  • Manifesting

The idea being, you believe or pretend that you are somebody, who, you are currently not.

Okay, okay, I hear all the “authenticity” folk in the back jumping up and down about this, “you can’t be someone you are not, that's fake and inauthentic” but, please, hear me out…

What if these methods above, are all a form of imaginary play and one of the most powerful human abilities?

My now 10 year old went through a stage, when we moved interstate at age 3, where he wore a cape and mask and socks on his hands everyday for 6 months.

He was known to those close to him as “Super Light”. The funny thing was, he didn’t like other people commenting on his daily costume choice, because for him, it wasn’t imaginary.

He just felt protected, brave and safe in the costume. He didn't have the insight to know he was “playing dress up”, he just believed this costume was what he needed to be brave, strong and safe in the midst of the change that was happening to him (the move).

As adults, we can learn from this and understand more clearly, how imaginary play shows up in adult concepts like “fake-it-till-you-make-it” and “manifesting”.

When you imagine you are someone you are not, yet. It provides you with the tools and feelings you need to be the person you WANT to be.

Dr Stuart Brown writes of imaginary play: “It allows us to create simulated realities that we can explore without giving up access to the real world.”

Imaginary play is about creating new stories with the outcome we hope to achieve!

So, how can we use this to our advantage?

We can start by creating distance between the person we are now and the person we would like to grow into using imaginary play.

Activate Play Mode:

Today, spend 5 minutes writing down the story of a day in the life of the person you would like to be in 5 years time?

Don’t edit it, just let it flow when you think, in 5 years time, what do I want my day to look like.

The reason I don’t want you to edit is because when we write from our first thoughts, often they present the stories we crave right now.

These can change daily, this is why this activity is considered “play”.

We are in the moment now.

We are not writing our life-long script (hello pressure, no thanks!)

So, will you join me?

I am sharing my story here. I wrote it, without edit, please read it, without judgement!

Delphie Joy in 5 years time - a tale of the content, calm and creative.

Good morning. I wake refreshed, on my own, in my own time. It's early, because I love the mornings. I feel refreshed and renewed from a good night's sleep.

Even now, as I edge closer to 50, I bounce easily from bed, drink some water and take to my morning yoga stretch practice to start the day.
My children are in the other bedrooms, waking-up slowly and getting ready for their day. There are no arguments, none, nada!
I make my coffee, and drink it slowly looking over the deck into the trees. It is calm and I feel grateful.
The morning routine unfolds, children getting themselves organised and ready, they are so responsible now.
Some mornings we walk to school, others we drive. It is calm and joyful. We often play music and dance. I am grateful my children still want to have fun and dance with me.
I return home, and feel thrilled at the day of creation I have ahead of me. I walk into the studio and get started with some painting. I love that I am now able to earn a professional income as an artist. What a gift. I combine work and play in a way I create visual stories. I might dabble in some new patterns and maybe a piece of lettering but I am content and thriving working as an artist.
I prepare my lessons for my Play students. It is such a joy still running my program and building the community of joy seekers around the world. We have a zoom catch up after lunch and it's wonderful to see how well folk are going overcoming their own barriers.
The kids are home, we have connected and done afternoon things.
I dance or walk in the evening and then we eat a family meal together, calmly!
As the night falls, I chat with my husband, we read and relax and make travel plans for the future.

There you go. I have read it back and it is interesting but for honesty, and authenticity of the task, I am not going to edit it.

Interestingly, after doing this exercise, I realised quickly that I have several parts of my life currently out of my control (waking on my own) but also, several in my control (what I allow to fill my day) and what I currently prioritise.

Will you try this exercise?

Use Imaginary Play to your advantage today to play 'make believe' in a way that actually might help you see what you really want right now.

I would love to read your story, without judgement! Hit reply and send it to me!


Need more creative play ideas?

Want to chat? Reply to this email and let's brainstorm how to help you bring more creative play into your day.

With Kindness,
Delphie Joy x

PS: There is still time to join the Play Your Way Experience happening in January. It is free to join and you will come away feeling inspired and energised creatively. I can't wait to see you there.

HEALTH DISCLAIMER: I am a huge advocate for professional psychological care and while my content and programs do touch on topics around human development, psychology and mental wellness, I am not a trained therapist. As such, if you do require specific mental health support, please contact your GP or other other health care professional.